Humility

After her last relapse, she got hit with overwhelming gratitude and dropped to her knees in humility. That humble feeling really set into motion the true grace God had given her. Her life was designed for damage and destruction. She continued to rise above. God has pulled her through it all for a reason. She has a deeper purpose in this life. She thinks, “But for the grace of god, there go I”. The closer to god she is, the more solid she became. When she prays, meditates, participates in her recovery, and stays honest, she’s walking toward the light. It’s always there. It never goes away. She just turns her back on it. And then the pain and struggles start ripping through the hole in her soul. She just continues to take the next indicated step – put one foot in front of the other. It’s all she can do in this moment.

She never thought the pills would take her down. They were prescribed. They were for pain. She was in pain. But she also took them when she wasn’t in pain. It took a year and a half for her to see the truth in her behavior. The lies she told hurt her husband. The times when she nodded out or stayed in bed all day, wreaked havoc on her husband’s soul. He was so worried and scared for her, but he would never tell her. He would let her hit her bottom. There was no other way. She had to see the truth for herself.

Recovering from addiction showed her a new way of life. It allowed her to find honesty, compassion, and faith. It stopped the insanity and chaos she created and forced her to take a look at herself. After all she had been through, she couldn’t understand why she was given such a gift. She continued to work through her issues and reached out to help others in any way she could.

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