Did she have to destroy everything?

An excerpt from my book "Every Woman"...

She was told that as an addict, she was a tornado roaring through people’s lives, destroying everything in its path. That was how she operated, the way she worked, it would validate her feelings of self-hatred. This is just how it was, right?...

She would appear so perfect, so innocent, so kind, but the things she was really capable of were comparable to that of a master manipulator, the sociopaths of the worst kind. When drugs and alcohol hit her body, there was no telling what could happen. She would do the worst to those that loved her the most. She didn’t mean to lie, it was not her intention to be self-destructive, but it just happened…seemingly without her knowledge, even. She didn’t even make the conscious decision to run her life into the ground, it just seemed to happen.

Something took over her, it was like a disease, a poison, a possession of the deep-seeded destructor…it was the “ism”. The need to latch on to anything and everything to change the way she felt, to numb out. Did what happened to her as a child lay the foundation for this? Was it the alcoholism and addiction she watched as a child? Was it genetic? She would take years of her life trying to figure this out to no end. She did not want to pass it on to the next generation! Should she just take her life now? Was she just a burden to those around her? Or was there hope? It seemed like nothing but utter darkness however she knew there was more...she knew she was not put here to suffer. One more time she would pick herself up and pull herself back together. It was this cycle of birth, death, rebirth....a new part of her always being re-born and finding strength in the pain.

#everywomanhasastory #lightoutofdarkness #pain #paininplainsight #depression #sober